It's October. And today it is 36 degrees. I'll write that again - this time in words for the deaf aids - Thirty-Six Degrees.
It's like being in a wind tunnel with a blast furnace. If I was on a beach I think I'd be mopping at my brow with me hanky like some Midlands Pavarotti.
I'm so hot I'd wrestle naked with Eskimo in a freezer full of icepops.
No duvet for me tonight, then.