Sunday, September 02, 2007

Ava Nice Day

So as predicted our Lord and Saviour, Ava, has been booted out. Actually, not booted out, more gently shooed away like some seagull encroaching on your cod and chips.

Apparently, he went quietly but not before being central to another couple of leftfield incidents. Last week he decided to accompany Matin from Iran shopping. When they got to Woolworths Matin was already getting a bit fed up with him, not really being religious himself. But it all came to a head in the pasta aisle when Ava suggested Matin's indecision over whether to buy penne or rigatoni could be solved by asking God. He closed his eyes for a few moments, and then, as if receiving a flash of divine inspiration, said "God wants you to choose this one". "As I expected...." said Matin, whose improvements in English have revealed a dry sense of humour, " was the cheapest".

Then Franc, who has long been fascinated with The Man In White, but observed him from afar (as you would nuclear testing), became involved in a particularly telling incident. By all accounts, Franc had tried to engage him in conversation, but Ava had become increasingly erratic in his responses until the point where he accused Franc of having a hidden earpiece through which he was receiving his "dialogue". He went on to claim that the instructions were coming from Foxtel (Oz equivalent of Sky TV), and continually motioned towards the windows in a nearby towerblock overlooking the courtyard, saying "Well done, the script is working", presumably at some unseen director.

At this point Franc realised that, joking aside, and in all seriousness, this man might actually be mentally ill and so altered his line of question accordingly. The Man In White clearly needed the men in white coats.

We rapidly came to the conclusion that actually this man's religion is not the reason for his unsettling behaviour. In fact, he probably is ill in some way, and does have social problems, and has turned to religion as a way of masking, justifying and curing his self.

Cruel as it may sound, we were just beginning to feel relief at his leaving, when on Sunday (of all days) we received a "sign". In 50ft high letters in the sky was written "Jesus = Hope".

Joking, we immediately suspected Ava. God, some people will go a long way to prove a point.

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