My latest “thing” is to go to work mega-early and plan my lessons at a leisurely pace.
Except I didn’t realise that getting the Saikyo Line, Japan’s busiest line, at 9am was what I am now calling “A Very Stupid Idea”
My God, it is something else. The doors open, people flood in, and just when you think the carriage is going to tear, another wave of people career headlong into the carriage - all propelled by a Japanese train guard who is folding up limbs just so he can shut the train doors.
And if someone finds themselves hemmed in, and needs to get to the exit as the train approaches the station, they start shoving. Not a polite English shove, either. A full-blown ram.
It’s like a Prodigy gig in a portacabin. Pile on! I don’t know what the standing equivalent is. Pile along?
The upshot of this all was that I found myself perfectly spooning a nice young woman. We were entwined like a big sweaty yin and yang and lest I had an issue with blood flowing in the wrong direction I tried to think about a nude Lisa Riley eating a shepherd’s pie.
Didn’t help. I was hungry.