Sunday, October 22, 2006

The End Of The Beginning. And The Beginning Of The Next Bit

So that’s it. I think I’m about done.

Another country beckons and it’s the law of diminishing returns now in Japan.

What a fantastic country this is. What an amazing people. What an admirable culture.

But what a shit job. What a terrible organisation. What a punishing task.

I have questioned whether I’m doing the right thing, but usually by 9.00pm, 10 hours and 25 students later, if you offered me an airticket home, I would snatch it out your hand. Then I’d probably punch you because you had a better day than me.

(Paul, mate, back me up on this one: you’ve seen me come home from work at 10.30 as grumpy as hell. I’m not imagining this, am I? It is shit, isn’t it?)

I think my reasons for staying are outweighed by the reasons for leaving, and now my task is to extricate myself from this situation.

But this is not the end. In fact (wheels in two-tonne cast-iron cliché), it’s the beginning. Or, at the very least, the first third.

Truthfully, I’ve been bitten by the travel bug. Right before I swatted it with a rolled up copy of Total Film magazine.

Yes, this living away from home lark is rather good. There’s an almost child-like excitement to it - like reading your Whizzer and Chips annual by torchlight after your Mum has told you to put your light out.

I’m planning to return home to the Midlands for a short while, before heading off somewhere else. Candidate cities include:

* Sydney
* Auckland
* Vancouver
* Montreal
* Dubai
* Huddersfield

The reality is I know very little about any of the above cities, but then again I didn’t know that much about Tokyo before I came here.

Yes, it may turn out that Sydney is full of beer-swilling, cork-hatted twats, Auckland is as about as much fun as a mortuary, Vancouver is full of Bryan Adams fans and Dubai is a toilet. But at least I’ll have fun finding out. Huddersfield, however, will always be rock and roll capital of the world.

Oh and if anyone wants to suggest a city, they are most welcome to do so. I’m not really one for slumming it - ie living in a hut made from rice, poison darting my dinner or wiping my arse on moss – so really I am looking for a bit of civilisation, although that’s Australia out, I fear.

But if anyone knows of any particularly interesting cities, I would love to know.

Wherever I end up it may not be as exotic as Tokyo, but I would ask that you join me on this blog for the next instalment of my journey.

Go on. Please say you will.


Father said...

Milton (Legoland shithole)Keynes but be looking attractive just now

Paul in London said...

Q What's the difference between Australia and a yoghurt?

{Phil, yes you've heard this one before but maybe not everyone else has)

[Everyone else.... look for the answer below]

Paul in London said...

In Brief:

* Yes Phil, you were very grumpy.
* I know how much you love the cold, but Canada at this time of year might be going a bit too far.
* You could always continue teaching English somewhere with more money and less hours like, say, Poland or Latvia, or even Shanghai or Moscow.
* Why are you coming back to miserable wet blighty first? we don't want to see you :-) you should go straight to wherever you're going next.
* I dare you to go to SHANE head office before you leave and take a dump on their doorstep.
* I bet they offer a payrise and much bumlicking to try and get you to stay.

Paul in London said...

Oh yeah...

A If you leave a yoghurt alone for a couple of hundred years, it develops a culture.

(and that joke was told to me by a Kiwi, before anyone starts...)

giacomo said...

I'd like to see a picture on this blog of a shiny turd laying down for a sleep on the desk of the shane head office.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm so used to standing up and dropping my cable into a cess-hole, I thought your desk was one" et al.

giacomo said...

...and when I say 'like' I mean 'it would be vaguely humerous' rather then a new and exciting hobby involving scatology. If you're coming back, shall I continue to send you stuff in the post?

giacomo said...

Okay, I've thought about it and these are three things you HAVE to do before coming back - with a photo of each:

01. Wrestle a Sumo dude in a dusty chalk circle.

02. Swim with Giant Jelly Fish.

03. Dance with a giant robot.

Set these goals and you will be able to re-enter the country.

Anonymous said...

San Francisco can't be missed!! Also...
depending on when you get back to the UK I might be able to get you in another 'film' ;-)