SHAME School Of English

So this training, then. Well, it wasn’t bad.

However, it did open up a whole new can of worms right into the hornets nest.

Here’s why:

Shane teachers very rarely meet each other. They are often the only teacher in the school all day, open up in the morning, lock up at night and aside from a quick chinwag with the reception staff, have little contact with the outside world.

Like some covert splinter cell everyone’s identities are kept secret from one another lest they meet and compromise security. On the rare occasions teachers do meet, the results can be potent. Because teachers all deal in one currency - The Horror Story.

For any Shane lawyers, I stress that this is purely hearsay and I could not verify any of the individual accounts.

But, shitting crikey, I’ve been regaled with some great tales. Highlights include:

* An entire school shut down after the teachers and receptionist staff were so pissed off that they just walked out.

* Aforementioned July resignations were in response to Shane’s altering of the employment status its teachers; we now are classed as part time and, accordingly, receive fewer benefits.

* Shane charges way above the going rate for our apartments – it’s simply seen as a source of income.

* A teacher hospitalised through mental illness was badgered until she came back to work, such was the seriousness of their shortage.

*Shane, the man, now lives in a Scottish Castle which he bought for £6 million

Again, I stress that with all these cases, a good old campfire story does tend to take on a life of its own.

Before too long, the story will have no doubt morphed into:

“Did you know the company is actually run by a super-computer powered by Shane’s brain floating in solution? Also he can see all your thoughts. Oh, and he has access to an evil time machine”

Nevertheless, I get the distinct impression that I am working for a shit company.

But then I already knew that.