Monday, April 23, 2007

You're Name's Not Down, You're Not Coming In

Bouncers in Oz are obsessed with checking people's ID on the door. But they are also kind of stupid about it as well.

They will ask everyone for their ID, irrespective of their age. If you're 36 and haven't looked 18 for 18 years and don't have ID, you're not coming in. If you're 51, remember any of The Beatles albums coming out and don't have ID, you're not coming in. If you've just been on the local news for reaching your 100th birthday and decide to pop out for a celebratory rum and coke and you have no ID, you're not coming in.

A couple of weeks' back, Alan (Kristy's boyfriend) and I tried to get into the Coogee Beach Hotel. A big Maori stopped Alan at the door.

"ID" he said, and dutifully Alan handed over his laminated work ID.
"Not good enough" said the bouncer "Driver's license"
"Don't drive" said Alan
"Passport then"
"Never left the country" said Alan
"THAT'S NOT MY PROBLEM!" said the bouncer in a completely OTT manner, and wouldn't let us in.

I know they're strict on underage drinking but we were obviously not 17. 'm going bald and Alan is going grey. What can they possibly learn from ID that couldn't glean from taking a look at you. Well your name I suppose, but they're all too thick to remember anything.

Next time I might ask them if I can see their ID. They'd love that. They have a great sense of humour, don't they, bouncers?

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